Evolution does a lot of strange things. It evolves a complex human species, into a more complex one, each with their own set of idiosyncrasies. We often misunderstand evolution as a means to an end. However, it might just be the ‘end’. It might possibly be the ‘purpose’ of human life; to evolve. That in itself, is a topic for another discussion though.
Back in the day, when our ancestors used to live in tribes, they needed to ensure that they had the approval of everyone else. To commit a faux pas that would have caused them to be exiled from the tribe would mean certain death. Thinking that everyone around them was watching them, kept them alive.
Humans do evolve, but at a very sedate pace, at least in terms of how instinctively they behave. At our very core, we are all still animals, always wanting to be liked by others, always seeking that one bit of extra validation. It’s just how our brains are wired, I guess. This is where the very famous Spotlight Effect comes into the frame. Due to this constant attention seeking attitude, we often tend to overestimate the number of eyes upon us, when in reality, even the few eyes watching us are engrossed within their own spotlight to remember any of your so called ‘stupid actions’ for more than a few minutes. Then they step back into their own La La Land, craving for heed, all over again! We are quite terrible assessors of ourselves, and of others’ perspectives of us. If you’re not convinced that nobody remembers your social gaffe you made back in your school days, try to recall the last time your old school friend made a similar fool out of himself. Turns out, that it’s a lot harder for most of us than remembering our own silliness we gracefully displayed, ages ago!
There is something psychologists call, the illusion of transparency. Witnesses to a potential emergency situation typically behave in a nonchalant manner that masks their underlying concern in order to avoid looking like an alarmist. Yet, these very same individuals are willing to conclude from the apparent calm of others, that there really is no emergency. Why? Why don’t individuals view the apparent calm of others the way they view their own apparent calm; as a ‘front’ that masks their true concern? In part, it is mainly due to this quirky illusion – an illusion of transparency. Simply said, an attempt to gauge transparency is a paradoxical phenomenon. This might sound a bit clichéd, but the more you think you are, the less you become.
It’s a little different today though, with technology and social media seeping into our day-to-day lives. We tend to underestimate how it impacts our sociology and perceptions. On one hand, it amplifies every act and every event, whether positive or negative. On the other, it diminishes our need to spend time in tightly knit communities. What does all of this mean?
Maybe, in a quite anomalous sense, you may have to work a lot more harder socially in order to get truly appreciated and valued, since nobody is monitoring your contributions and impact as much as you think they are. Unless you’re a celebrity, of course! Nobody cares. It’s hard enough to detect the signal, and a fulfilling and honest one, in a sea of so many, that too in such a chaotic, noisy and egocentric world.
All of these psychological phenomena are illusions for a reason. They help you get your head around……well…your head! So let’s stop getting obsessed with what others perceive of us; let all of the perceptions flow aimlessly in the huge sea of opinions, except the one you have about yourself. Let it be that one constant stream, flowing intent-fully and maybe solitarily, amidst all the fury around it. That is all that truly matters. So, speak your mind, take those leaps. A blog, like this one, I hope, is a lilliputian step towards this mindset.
So go create, not to impress, but to express. Not to validate, but to document. To unlearn. Then relearn. And sanguinely, to inspire!
The Glass Ceiling 